Monday, March 10, 2014

That awkward moment when. . .

So, I'm wondering if all my Infertile Myrtle's out there have ever had any of these things happen to them. . .  Here, I provide a laundry list of my MOST awkward moments through this journey. . .

10) That awkward moment when your friend tells you she's pregnant, and you have to think really hard about how your face looks at that exact moment, you are relieved that your eyes are squinting and your lips are turned upward. . .a smile. . .SUCCESS!

9)  That awkward moment when you're lying on your back in a freezing cold room while someone puts dye through your fallopian tubes and asks you how work is going, and how much they appreciate what you do.

8)  That awkward moment when you are getting 15 vials of blood drawn and the phlebotomist is telling you how bummed he is that his wife is pregnant (you know, a damn accident).

7)  That awkward moment when that same phlebotomist is telling you how bummed he is that she's pregnant. . .with a GIRL.

6)  That awkward moment when your cell phone rings while your teaching a group of nine year olds and you see that it is your reproductive endocrinologist calling to give you test results.  Good luck focusing on the Gold Rush!

5)  That awkward moment when you're about to get a progesterone shot for your upcoming Intra-Uterine Insemination and the 45 year old woman giving you the shot is telling you about her 18 month old and starts giving you advice like she's a freaking doctor.  Seriously, shut up.  Why do you even work here, stupid?

4)  That awkward moment when your doctor inseminates you and tells you "I think this was a good one."  Ew.

3)  That awkward moment when your husband tells you what it's like in his "special room."

2)  That awkward moment when you burst out crying so hard that your spit hits the doctors name plate.  P.S. You walked into her office looking quite put together, and now you look like a lost member of the KISS army.

1)  That awkward moment when that same, stupid effing phlebotomist (see #7 and #8) starts complaining about how he has to do all the dishes during football season.  Seriously, nimrod?

What awkward moments have you had?  Infertility related or otherwise?  I mean, please, everyone, I need a freaking good laugh!

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